I was raped

I was raped last night

And now the sky is green and the grass, blue.

Spring’s shoots crackled underfoot,

and autumn’s flowers blossomed.

I was raped last night

And I hurt.

I paint a song,

I sing of smiles.

Tears of an eternity welled up behind my blackened eye,

I see blood,

Don’t look at my hands

They grasp, clasp around black nothingness,

grasping for what flies by.

I want to moan,

Don’t look at me,

The room is full of people.

I must be quiet

Perhaps the cramps are from my diet,

I wish I could sit, but-

They won’t let me be,

They won’t leave me alone.

I was raped under the stars last night,

And life goes on.

My body aches,

My dreams wax abhorrent

I lost my voice under the stars last night,

The tears are gone

What he wants, he takes,

My bloods runs, a torrent.

I was raped in my house last night,

And I don’t need anyone.

I see you laughing,

I see you in mirrors,

In the face of men I know.

I was raped last night,

And the darkness protects

me from the sounds

the noises, memories.

Was I out of bounds?

Or is it merely a pretext

To kill all hopes of flight.

I lost my body last night

The very thing that hurt

Is what I seek

I wish you could hold me tight,

That you could see my torment,

That you would know that of which

I wish to never speak.

I was raped in my house last night,

Sullied in my living room,

In my bed I was besmirched

my blood still boils,

If only I hadn’t been weak.

I want to be clean again

shrive my self

Perhaps a shower

And another till the water runs cold.

Or perhaps fatigue

Or simply should I

Let soiled blood flow?

I was raped last night

And sometimes-

Just sometimes-

I want to die.